My friend —
As I write these words I’m at 24,000 feet and more than halfway across the country. I’m headed to see my mother, who is eighty-five years old. I will only be there a couple of days.
She was born in Ransomville, New York in May of 1932, the thirteenth of fifteen children. A world I’m sure I could never imagine, one before WWII, and television, and computers, and the Internet. Her life has spanned all these things.
Relationships with one’s mother are like no other. We are them, more or less, at first, and only gradually learn to be not-them, by a process not without its pains — for either party.
My mother has always loved poetry, and literature, and music, and union organizing – I’ve never quite been sure the order. She loves the ridiculous in life, and nothing seems funnier to her than the forgetfulness of aging. She lives out in the desert, and loves it.
Still, she is dying.
She’s very matter-of-fact about it. “There are far worse things than dying,” she says. “The Leonardo DiCaprio version of Romeo & Juliet, for one,” she adds as an afterthought.
Death is, to her, is “a thing neither to be feared nor courted.”
Like a change in seasons.
I should add that she has always said the death of the young is a terrible thing. But at her age, she sees it as fit and proper.
Not that she forgets to live; in the last 22 months, she’s added a boyfriend to her life who has brightened it considerably. I will no doubt meet him today. His family will be there as well.
I have a foreboding about this journey. But I hope it will be full of laughter, brief as it will be.
I hope, wherever you are, that love finds you. In whatever guise that rascal might take.
Your friend,
S. B.
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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have a great trip no matter what happens )
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Thanks. It has been a good trip.
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A wise woman indeed. Safe travels and may God bless you both ❤
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Thank you!
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*hug*
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Thanks, dude.
My mom seems determined to be happy. I tried to convince her that life was a meaningless nightmare of suffering, but she wasn’t having it.
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That’s because your mom is a wise wise woman.
I’m often reminded that you need the darkness to be able to know what light is, good to know what bad is, the random and arbitrary to know what meaning was…It’s binary–on or off–but it (life, I’m talking here) is also made up of those two things–the 1 or the 0 simultaneously. They all exist together to make what is; the Ying and the Yang.
The late great Alan Thicke penned it best: “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life…”
Your mom has seen the highs and seen the lows I’d wager…shes’ found solace in knowing that it is what it is, you know? Life…beautiful, wacky, untidy, wonderful life.
Cheers to you sir. Peace in the New Year to you.
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And to you and your family as well.
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All light and joy to you and your mum!
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I hope the trip went ok and that your mum is still living out her journey. I too think that your mum is a wise woman and probably a very interesting person to talk to as well! Take care!!
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She’s doing well, even though she’s not well, if test makes any sense.
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It does 🙂 I am in the same situation with my mum too…so it makes a lot of sense.
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