At Twenty

(At twenty, she was everything to me)
  She lay out in the warming April sun
(At once, both remedy and malady)
  To bask as though the summer had begun
  Or maybe, just for her, the only one.
(I loved her with a love both strong and true:
  And she was like, ‘just who the hell are you?’)

  In college: she, a princess and a star
(I was a jester, a nonentity)
  The light of any class and ev’ry bar
(I had no me, no real identity;
  Just hopes for virtue, and for devilry)
An April when the world was hers to hold
And fleeting touches turned to lasting gold

(I died at twenty much more than I lived)
  She was both perfect heart and vanity;
(I never had the knack, but had the gift)
  She grew into her mind, and her humanity
  Soon blossomed into balance, hope, and sanity.
(While I went on to madness, and to rue:
  At twenty, that was all that I could do)

Author: Sibelius Russell

Sibelius Russell (a/k/a/ Owen "Beleaguered" Servant) lives a life of whimsical servitude -- whatever that means.

4 thoughts on “At Twenty”

  1. This is a very beautiful poem with depth and richness of feeling. Here, the reader feels almost equally, the joy, sadness and pain of the male in the poem (I’m not sure if he’s literally you.). I enjoyed reading it. I promise to return and read it again and see what further impressions I get.


  2. This piece is really fantastic. I think I’ve worked out that I like the balance in it, the push and pull between sentences (remedy and malady, virtue devilry, dying more than living), the struggle of finding identity in your youth, along with being asked “Just who the hell are you” and trying to fathom it all out along the way, every single sentence resonates. I had to read this aloud to appreciate it beauty and complexity, it’s all I could do even though I’m no longer twenty 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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